In April 2010, at a Divine Truth seminar, Mary, Cornelius
and Jodi did a presentation about reincarnation. I became involved in this presentation by way
of my past relationship with Jodi (my ex ife).
We had been married, and had separated late the previous year. Some interest and questions arose around the
breakup, and I became part of the talk too. However, various untruths were
communicated during the presentation by myself, and the intention of the
following to correct those untruths.
To give some background:
A few years back, I decided to end my marriage. However there has been a lot of confusion
about the events surrounding the separation, and there have been certain things
I have been comfortable for people to believe, although they haven’t been true.
I have written this to correct those untruths and misconceptions that I have
communicated in the past, with respect to how my marriage ended, and provide an
actual account what actually happened.
The history is as follows:
·
I was married when we discovered the
teachings of Divine Truth as presented by Jesus (AJ) in 2008. We began to apply the teachings in our lives
and relationship, and this involved being much more truthful, open, and honest
with each other, and also working through the emotions that arose as a
result. There were times when this was
very confronting, and challenged our previously held beliefs systems about our
relationship. However once the emotions
had been felt through, the emotional pain subsided, and the truth of the
situation became clearer.
· During the next 18 months, I was able to
work through some of my women emotions, and as I did, I found myself gradually desiring
Jodi less and less, and I could feel myself growing apart from her. This came as a surprise, because up until
that point I had assumed, (or hoped) that we were soulmates, and that this
process would confirm my belief. Instead
of me finding her more desirable, and attractive, the opposite was
happening. This was quite confronting
for me, because this is not the way I had envisaged this were going to work
out. My (erroneous) belief was that as I
worked through my emotions, I would find her more attractive and desirable.
·
Throughout this time, we constantly
talked about what was happening, and I was open with her, in sharing what I
could feel that was going on for myself.
·
In December 2009, I had reached the point
where I felt we needed to separate, and so I ended our relationship, as it
seemed clear to me that we were not soulmates.
Hence this decision was not a
difficult one to make. I did not make
this decision because I was angry with Jodi, nor because of anything that
happened in the relationship. I made the
decision because it was the honest and obvious thing to do.
·
In hindsight, I probably should have
ended the relationship a bit sooner, however, I chose to stay in the
relationship because it met some of my other emotional addictions, namely,
still wanting a woman to look after me, sex, and someone to look after our
children so that I could still work full time.
·
Even though we had separated, we still
lived under the same roof for a few months ‘for the sake of the kids’. This seemed like a good idea at the time,
however upon reflection it was really because I still wanted my ex-wife to look
after them, and still mother me and look after the house.
·
At Christmas 2009, I had a feeling that I
knew who my soulmate was. Even at this
stage (and the months following) I was still content with me pursuing someone
who I thought was my soulmate, whilst at the same time still living with Jodi.
·
After a while, Jodi felt that she had to
move out, as the situation was unloving to herself. So even though I had initiated the
separation, I wasn’t prepared to be responsible for my own decision, and take
the necessary action to move out myself.
Upon reflection, I’m not proud of my actions after I
decided to initiate the separation. The
separation I was clear about, however the thought of having to live by myself,
start looking after the kids by myself, work less, frightened me so much, that
I chose to be unloving to Jodi, and expected her to still do all the ‘motherly’
duties, purely for my comfort.
I have previously given the impression that Jodi left me
to be with someone else, and that I was the victim, or poor guy, who was left
alone because of the decision of Jodi to leave our marriage. I have also given the impression that the
Divine Truth will result in a marriage being broken, and it leave you a poor
broken person, who is the ‘victim’ of learning the truth. This is simply not true. The truth is that I portrayed this image in
order for people to feel sorry for me, and to get a lot of sympathetic
emotions, particularly from women.
The Divine Truth allows you to what is real in a
relationship, and what is not. What
happens after that is a choice for the individual. I am so glad that I had the opportunity to
discover the truth about my marriage, as it has resulted in a lot of personal
growth.
There have been numerous ascertains made that AJ (and
Divine Truth) has broken up families, marriages, and relationships. In my experience, this has not been the
case. Never at any stage did AJ or Mary
suggest or imply that Jodi and I were/were not soulmates. Nor did they suggest or imply that we should
or shouldn’t be together. It was my
personal decision to leave the marriage.
We did discuss our relationship at times, but the advice was always to
just keep working through our emotions and we will eventually realise the
truth.
What actually happened during the
presentation:
·
I engaged in the talk so that I could
tell my story
·
I gave the impression that it was Jodi
that left me, to be with Cornelius
·
I wanted to be seen as ‘poor guy’ and the
‘victim’ of Jodi and Cornelius getting together
·
I gave the impression that Jodi moved out
and took everything, and left me with nothing which was not the case
·
I wanted women to feel sorry for me, and
make me feel better, rather then me dealing with my own emotions. I received a lot of sympathy from the
audience, especially women.
·
I was/still am hooked into a feeling of
wanting the woman to make me feel special
·
I liked the special feeling of
(potentially) being the ex-partner of 1 of the 14
·
I was demanding that women make me feel
better, and mother me
·
I had the feeling that I knew how to work
through things on the Divine Love Path, and knew what the Divine Love Path was
about, and I projected this onto the audience.
This is not the case as evidenced by my lack of progress in my subsequent
relationship
I have to apologise to:
·
AJ and Mary for ‘highjacking’ their talk
for me to tell my own story which was not based in truth, and gave the
impression that the Divine Truth is destructive and breaks up families and
relationships. And for AJ and Mary
having to continually correct the untruth with the media, that the Divine Truth
is destructive to relationships and families.
Whilst I struggle with the truth at times, I don’t feel that it is
destructive, and the Divine Truth actually highlights the truth about
relationships, and this is a good thing.
I have found the Divine Truth to be extremely beneficial, particularly
in relation to my relationship with my children, and becoming a better
parent.
·
The audience (both on the day, and anyone
that listened to it via the Divine Truth website) for communicating that
feeling that I knew how to work through things on the Divine Love Path, and
knew what the Divine Love Path was about.
This is not the case as evidenced by my lack of progress in my
subsequent relationship
·
My lack of morals and ethics for allowing
this to happen in the first instance, but also for not correcting the untruths
sooner, and perpetuating the untruth for all this time.
Some people are curious, and have questions, as to what
happened, and so to answer some of these questions I have provided a response
to a few:
Did Divine Truth cause in your
breakup?
Learning about the Divine Truth emotionally enabled me to
see the relationship from a more loving and truthful perspective. As I learned more truth about my relationship
and myself it became clearer that my view of it was flawed, and out of harmony
with love. I guess as we learn more, we
see things differently and apply our new teachings to our existing situations. Certainly, the Divine Truth helped me to realise
the truth, but the decision to end the relationship was mine.
If you hadn’t of found out about
Divine Truth, do you think that you would still be married?
This is a difficult question as it is hypothetical,
however, because I was in such an addictive relationship, I would probably have
to say yes. That is not to say that
something else might not have happened in the meantime to change the
relationship anyway. Ultimately, the
end would have been the same though, because eventually I would have realised
what was happening, it just might have taken a lot longer. In fact this is one of the great benefits of
the Divine Truth, in that if you want to apply it in your life, the truth of
the situation can become clear quite rapidly if your open to seeing it. If your not open then it takes a little
longer.
You have previously described your
relationship with Jodi as ‘perfect’. Do
you still hold that view?
No. It is obvious
to me now, that the relationship was built around addictive emotional needs
being met, and was not one based in love.
I have previously described it as perfect in the past because, I got
what I wanted, we never argued, I could do whatever I wanted without doing
anything in return, and all of my physical, sexual, and (erroneous) emotional
needs were met. It was a relationship
that was built on a barter system, whereby the unconscious arrangement was,
“I’ll give you what you want, if you give me what I want.”
Truth was absent from the relationship right up until the
end when we started applying the Divine Truth to the relationship. This quickly highlighted that we were not
being truthful about the relationship, and our feelings about it. I was living what I thought was a good
relationship, not living a relationship based on truth and love as I am
starting to understand it.
Do you ever regret the decision
that you made?
Once we were separated, a lot of addictions were
highlighted and were in my face for the first time in my life. This was very confronting for me at the time,
and some the emotional injuries that were exposed I found difficult to deal
with at the time. There were times when
I wanted to return to the addictive relationship. However once the emotions had been felt
through, it became very clear to me that I had made the right decision.
Has your experience helped you in
your new relationship?
Not really, actually probably not at all. I had worked through a lot of emotions in my
marriage, relating to feelings unloved by a woman, however I failed to address
my demands and addictions relating to wanting a woman to do things for me and
make me feel special. When I entered a
new relationship, my new partner did not have the emotions of wanting to look
after me, hence my addictions were exposed for the first time. Unfortunately, I chose not to deal with those
emotions, and instead I rejected my new partner and just got angry at her. This has resulted in me causing her much
pain, which I also now have to work through.
If you dealt with your addictions,
would you still have the same pain in that relationship?
No. There have been
times when I have worked through a small addiction, and I have felt a large
amount of love and desire for that person.
However, as I have generally chosen not to deal with my addictions that
general outcome is a painful one. I have
chosen not to deal with my addictions, and I have honoured my arrogance and fear,
over love for my partner, and when this happens the outcome can never be a good
one.
How have the kids been affected?
It is my experience that children are fine with a
situation, provided that parents are owning their own emotions. We were very open and honest with the boys
throughout the entire process, and told them everything that was happening. The only times the boys became upset with any
part of the situation was when either myself or Jodi, had emotions that were
being projected onto the boys, as we weren’t owning them. I have had many times where I have been
processing seemingly intense emotions (anger, through to fear, through to causal)
and the boys are happy to play and have not been affected by my emotional
processing at all. In fact I have had
them say to me that they prefer it, and It feels better for them, when I am
dealing with my emotions (anger and fear included). Processing your emotions is also highly
beneficial to children, as they no longer have to feel the projection coming
from you. There have been many times
when I can see how my children have changed after I have felt though an
emotion. They are generally happier,
more considerate and loving, and the parent/child relationship changes greatly
for the better.
Isn’t it better though, that
children are raised in a “stable” household with both a mother and father?
This was one of my previously held beliefs as well, whereby
I though that the balance of a mother and father was the best thing for a
childs development. My belief now is
that children thrive in an environment of truth and love. There was a short time where Jodi and I were
separated and living in the same house for “the sake of the children”, however
this was not a healthy environment, and it was not an arrangement based on love
or truth. For us to stay together for
that reason was teaching the boys that it is okay to live a lie, and that it is
okay to live in an addictive relationship.
This is not something that I want to teach my children anymore (as much
I know how).
Thank You
Justin
4/2/2014